We landed in Denver at 1236 am on the 12th. And made about a 40 minute trek across Denver to get to Presbyterian/St. Lukes. I stood outside while they unloaded Adalei out of the ambulance, and stumbled along as they pointed things out to me on the way up to the NICU.
My contacts were beyond blurry. I couldn't see anything. They took me into the room where Adalei and about 6 other premature babies were temporarily calling home. It was a fairly large room and Adalei was in the far corner, but with all the equipment and such that where in there with her, there wasn't much room to even be near her. I felt like I was unwelcome there at first. Nobody said anything to me, barely acknowledged I was there except the glances casted toward me. I thought that maybe I wasn't supposed to be back there or something, but I was going to be whether they liked it or not! About 20 minutes later someone offered me a seat, and asked if I needed anything. I asked for a saline syringe and the bathroom. She kindly showed me the way back out the door, and to a old and, in desperate need of renovation, bathroom. I spruced up my contacts a little and headed back to the room.
When I returned I met the in house NICU doctor. I believe he introduced himself 3 times but I don't remember it now. He told me that the cardiologist would be arriving soon and that he is VERY good, and that my baby girl is in good hands. He also asked me several questions about when things started with Adalei deterioration, things I wasn't sure how to answer. They had Adalei all hooked up to the monitors there, and the numbers where not looking any better. Now that I am familiar with it all, I am sure the sats being lower had to do with the altitude, but at that time, I had a horrible feeling things were going south --fast.
Mom and Dad showed up soon after. I believe they showed up just as I was talking to the doctor, but I am not really positive. I told Mom what they said, and I think the Cardiologist showed up as I was talking to mom. The Dr. introduced himself and said that he was going to be a while, looking at all the things going on with my daughters heart. He preformed the ECHO himself. It took forever. I stood beside Mom, and then I think Mom went out and let Dad come back during that time. I think? We didn't get to close still, I think we stood about 10 feet away from her isolette. Then Adalei had a coughing spell or something, her numbers went all crazy and the nurse came over and adjusted stuff. The lights and alarms were going off, Adalei still looked like crap. The prostaglandins they gave her were taking effect and made her really splotchy red. Dad stepped out after Adalei's little fit, and I don't remember much, but Mom came back in and then it wasn't long then Ryan and Ed, and Chad were there. Soon Ryan was at my side again and Mom stepped out.
I was glad Ryan was there. I felt a relief. I was worried about him making it there safely, and then even just being there in time to hear all the answers to all the many questions we had. It seemed like minutes after everyone except Kim and Chris had shown up the Cardiologist had the diagnosis. We all stepped into a Conference room, and Dr. B drew a diagram for us. He explained the condition and the procedures that would be done to fix it and the follow up things afterward. Kim and Chris showed up sometime around now. He gave us the news we had hoped to hear. "She will come out of this and be a normal kid. She will play volleyball, and cheer lead. This is a fixable problem. " Oh thank you sweet Jesus! I was hopeful, but still scared. The plan was to do a Septostomy, the following day, and then get her to Childrens hospital the day before her open heart surgery to reverse her transposed vessels. If her conditioned warranted, they would do the septostomy in the morning/afternoon, and then 2 days later get her to Children's and that Friday do the surgery.
Open heart surgery on a 4 day old, wow, what a scary thing. I was astounded that they could do it.
After our meeting and question session was over, Everyone except the aunts and uncles took turns seeing Adalei. You see, in the P/SL NICU only parents and grandparents could visit the patients. With all the swine flu going around ,and the HIPPA restrictions, they were very cautious. Adalei was next to two very tiny babies, less than half her size. I prayed for healing for them also. I was amazed at how big they made Adalei look. The nurses stated that Adalei was one of their biggest babies to take care of.
We soon were feeling very fatigued. I think it was 3 or 4 in the morning our time? The hospital graciously found spare rooms for Ryan, myself, Chad and Ed to stay in. My folks and Kim and Chris went and found a hotel. I was completely zombied by now, the contacts were blurred over again. I was relieved to get them out. I decided then that I better go with out them for a few days. Once I changed my clothes and took some more pain medication I tried to lay down, but I couldn't stop crying, I felt horrible. Like it was my fault. I just couldn't stop. I was distraught. Ryan eventually came to my bedside and made me lay down, I don't remember trying to go to sleep, I think I cried myself to sleep. (I think I look back to this part of the day the most. The hopelessness I felt, and my strong supportive husband comforting me. His love and care for me, it really moved me when I thought back on this day. I love him so much!)
A new day for another day.... Stay Tuned.
Monday, January 4, 2010
Daddy and Luke getting ready to cut or Christmas tree (we ended up not using it though. It was only half a tree adn looked pretty sparce. We bought a live one. Which was a first for us, but it was pretty and I liked ecorating it much better, not so smelly and pokey. :)
Eating candy canes in the country on our christmas tree hunt. Singing Christmas songs and drinkng hot chocolate!! So much fun!
Adalei talking to us by the christmas tree.