Thursday, August 13, 2009

My baby girl

I was right. Adalei Rose Tullis arrived Monday at 927 pm. Weighing in at a whopping 9.1! 22 inches long and beautiful head of dirty blond/brown hair. Much like her Mommy had when she was born.

I write this post as a vent though. A cry out of mercy. You see my Sweet sweet Adalei has Transposition of the Great Arteries. She is to have open heart surgery today hopefully at 11-12 this am.

I am scared.
I am mad.
I am grateful-- that this is the heart condition. It's an "easy" fix. If you want to call open heart surgery on my 2 1/2 day old baby easy.
I am supposed to home making an awesome supper for my hubby and I to share on our 4th anniversary. NOT praying and hoping for the best as my Adalei fights. Tonight is going to be a Bad night for her they say. Lots of ups and downs. I am not sure I can handle the downs right now. I am going to have to.

I was supposed to cuddling her at home. Not staring at her from her isolette. She was supposed to breastfeeding, she was not supposed to have a intubation tube down her mouth.
She was supposed to be staring up at me with her pretty dark blue eyes, she was not supposed to have swollen, black and blue eyes, and unable to open them.

I am supposed to be breastfeeding her, not the electrical pump in the Lactation room.

This sounds a lot like me me me, I I I. And to tell you the truth right now, I don't care. It is, how it is! I know God is present. I am very confused right now. I am questioning so many things, but I am grateful for what He is providing for my family. The medical staff at both facilities have been wonderful. I have lots of things that I AM grateful for, but I just feel so overwhelmed. It's not how thing were supposed to go. At least not in my plan.


It's His plan, and although I don't understand it, nor right now do I like it. He is in control.

Lord please help my baby!!!!

Would you all please pray for her too!!!!!

I will try to update soon.

1 comment:

Gracie said...

I can not imagine what you are going through right now. I am praying for that precious baby, Adalei Rose. God formed her heart and He is the Great Physician. She is fearfully and wonderfully made. It's ok to be scared and mad, but remember no matter how we feel, God remains in control. ALWAYS. I am praying for you and your family. =)