Clearly I am feeding into my own problems. So I am going to try to relax and forget the time schedule and the "planning" of things and just let myself be happy with life and understand that things are not on my time schedule. They are on His, and work on realizing that, and when a miracle shows up, I will be all the more grateful to receive it.
I am very blessed right now anyways. I have a healthy wonderful husband, and a beautiful adventurous little boy to keep me busy. We are coming along nicely on our house and so soon I should be able to have friends and family over more often, which should be lots of fun. I also have an upcoming play that I will be directing... Plenty to keep me busy.
I am just trying to fill my head with things that I need to do anyways, rather than contemplating what my body is doing next and what it supposedly means.
There you have it. I am going to try to cut back on the nonsense. Phew... I hope its not a bigger bite than I can chew. You will have to excuse me if I revert back to the anxious unsettled stewing again.